When You Are Low on Hope

Have you ever needed an olive leaf? You know a sign of sorts that lets you know you aren't forgotten? Everything really is going to be alright. Really it is. You know the feeling? Like Noah being cooped up in the Ark and being so done with his life circumstances. Let me out, I've had enough.The flood waters in my life have been rising too long and I just need a little hope. When Noah send a dove out of the ark for the second time it returned with an olive leaf. This leaf was more than foliage, this leaf was a promise. This leaf brought hope. This leaf brought evidence of dry land after a flood. Don't we all love olive leaves in our lives? What's more don't we love the doves that bring them? My doctor advocated on my behalf, instead of a year wait list I have an appointment in two weeks with a foot specialist. My neighbour whose husband is in a motorised wheelchair dropped of a shepherds pie for dinner, she just found out about my ankle. My amazing husband who picked up two Christmas wreaths for the front door to set the mood for the upcoming season.. My counsellor who encouraged me to bring less to  family gathering because I need to take care of me. My son who said the blessing over lunch yesterday and then thanked God for my doctors appointment. My sister-in-law that loves me and has my back. My friends that heart me and let me share all of me. Perhaps that's the reason I love Jesus. You see He brings leaves to me. Grace and life. Forgiveness of sin. The defeat of death. This is the hope He gives. This is the hope I need. My flood is not too wide. My worth not too small. What do you do with hope? What do you do with olive leaves? You pass them around. You don't stick them in your pocket. You give them to the ones you love. Love always hopes. Love...bears all things , believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things (1 Cor. 13:4-7)  Love has hope in you.  IF you don't need hope than you are called to give hope. You can say those words. "I have hope for you". You are a flood survivor. By Gods grace you have found your way to dry ground . You know what its like to see the waters subside. And since you do, since you passed through the flood and lived to tell about it, you are qualified to give hope to someone else. Hope it's a powerful thing.

You are a masterpiece

Psalm 139-I am amazing
Joel Osteen
Picasso painting not valuable because of the art but because of the painter.
God is our artist we are his masterpiece.
Every morning remind yourself, I am not ordinary, I am Gods masterpiece.
Love your neighbor as yourself. If you don't love yourself you cannot love others. We all have weakness, but we need to love ourselves. You carry yourself the way you see yourself.
You are made in the image of God. See yourself as beautiful on the inside and it will excude that on the outside. Quite focusing on yourself. Quit comparing yourself to others.
You are not better than anyone else but you are not less than anyone else.
In humilty accept that you are a masterpiece made by God.
I am not average, I am not ordinary, I am one of  kind.
Your value is not based on your performance. You are already valuable.
Accept yourself as you are in the process of changing.

There is something special about you.
Just what I needed to hear today.

My Thoughts

 So Rudy and I left Surrey Friday afternoon and headed out to Whistler for the weekend. We still had a gift certificate given to us from one of our suppliers from last Christmas so Fairmont Chateau was our destination. We left our beautiful fall weather and arrived to the first snowfall of the season.

I Love the first snowfall of the season . I love when God blankets the trees with a sprinkling of magic powder. It's just beautiful. It's probably safe to say that I was in the minority travelling to Whistler with a leg brace, crutches and wheelchair. Yes, I caused a constant stir of compassion from people who just couldn't pass me by without knowing my story. Complete strangers that needed to know what happened, and if I was going to be alright. It was very overwhelming at times. For someone who likes to hide their pain I have been forced to look it straight in the face and acknowledge yes life really does suck sometimes. Haven't I had enough years of tough things happening in my life?

 On Sunday morning we decided to visit Whistler Community Church. Since we are all part of the same conference I was excited to see what was happening in Whistler. Of course God had plans for my heart as He always does. The pastor was at home as he was resting from a concussion , he had just fallen out of a tree that week. The guest speaker was from Church of the Mountain. He started his sermon with God may not have a plan for your life. What? See we are all busy looking for Gods plan for our lives. And when we don't see it mapped out like a piece of Ikea furniture. Our life gets disrupted and we wander. If we do what it says in Matthew 22:34-40 Love God with ALL our strength, mind and will. And if we do that to our neighbour (love them with ALL our strength, mind and will). And here is the KEY that spoke to me and if we love ourselves with ALL our strength, mind and will . We will be inside of the will of God. It is very hard for me to love myself. I know I am a child of God, forgiven but I always feel unworthy of His love. On the outside I may seem confidant but on the inside I am very raw. On the outside I may look like everything is fine but on the inside it is not. So begins my journey. For I too want to live inside the will of God.

Baptism

I've been to the river I've been baptised. I've been washed by the blood of the lamb.
Sunday celebration service of my niece Rowyn caused me to reflect back on own my baptism. How can it not? Like when I attend a wedding I smile and think back to my glorious day and it reminds me of why I love this man of mine, and it renews my sacred vows said so long go. It's a good think to again take stock of my life. The feelings ,thoughts ,desires , needs that compelled me to say yes to baptism so many years go. So how is my walk going? The blood that pumped my heart and compelled me to trust in the God of the Universe who loved me and died for me. Is that devine truth that was so clearly revealed to me as a child of 15 still hold true today? Do I still believe He holds my future, He holds my hand? Or have my eyes grown dim in the reality of the worlds view of control? I control my own destiny? The same God in the bible that has been faithful to all generations is still faithful. Do my eyes stray from the path God has chosen for me? Absolutely. So for me than the choice would be what do I do about that? Do I keep down the path that I know is wrong? Or do I choose to follow the path that is layed out for me? Today I choose to follow you. Today the decision is mine. Today the decision is yours.

Marie

We took her out of Westminster House for a short walk. Although they treat her well at the Old Folk's home, she's stuck inside , doors locked. Her hearing is terrible, confusion consumes her mind ,she doesn't leave her wheelchair anymore. She still remembers me, not in the way she used to, but still after a few minutes of staring me in the eye a glimmer of light appears in her lack lustre eyes and she recognises me. Oh , it's Margret haven't seen you for a long time. Forgetting our last visit but still holding on to our past, her world keeps getting smaller. Its a frightful thing to not remember. Did she just visit the bathroom? Or? How did you fall Margret? It happened where? Do you have pain? Tell me again. Still thinking of others even though she can't take care of herself. It doesn't matter, repetition is always part of our visit, and as long as I can bring joy to her day if only for a minute , I visit, I talk, I love on her. Others in the home are not so fortunate. They are forgotten , somebody else's burden, nobody ever comes to visit. Seems like this kind old lady doesn't deserve such life. But we can't choose our walk in life anymore than we can create a sunny day. It's makes me sad when I visit . But it's not about me. Visiting the care home you come face to face with people walking the last days of their lives. Our days are all numbered, but in the everyday hub of life the end of our life is not our focus point. I struggle with the letting go of life that does not belong to me but God and the holding tight to life because I'd like just one more birthday, one more Christmas, one more vacation. For now it's not time to say goodbye. For now I'll have one more visit. One more celebration...one more time...

Committing To Hear God's Voice

The real problem of the Christian life comes where people do not usually look for it. It comes the very moment you wake up each morning. All your wishes and hopes for the day rush at you like wild animals. And the first job each morning consists simply in shoving them all back; in listening to that other voice, taking that other point of view, letting that larger, stronger, quieter life come flowing in. And so on, all day. C.S. Lewis 

Started a new book,  The Spirit Formed Life. By, Jack Hayford

Growing in the 10 principles of Spirit-Filled Discipline

Don't know what your day looks like. Could be kids demanding attention. Or your spouse, job or lack there of. Could be an illness, bad weather. Or maybe you are just a ray of sunshine and your days are always good. What fills your mind first thing in the morning? The author of this book and more importantly the Bible challenges me to listen to God. Yup it's His day. No that doesn't mean my day will be free of problems or that I have a halo above my head and sprout angel wings . It just means I should give my day to God. He is at work everyday, and He wants me to join Him.

Finding My Joy

 Okay Rudy we will take care of Marg, but only for 5 more minutes ....

 How awesome to feel the waves of the ocean

 And have the touch of gorgeous friends

 And relax in the comfort of long time friends

 And be part of the entertainment

 And keep Bert sane

 And celebrate life

 And celebrate God's creation

 And not think about the rain

 And feed our stomachs

 And enjoy the memory of the sun

 And hear the ocean

 And remember the laughter

 And the Palm Tree's.

A lot of focus has been on joy. Friends post's, sermons, etc. God wants us to be joyful. And when times are good its pretty easy. But when disaster hits, for myself I find it much harder. Joy doesn't always manifest itself in laughter. I think deep rooted joy can only be found when I'm at peace with God. When I learn to accept my life totally in His hands I find true joy. Joy in my circumstances despite wanting as easier option. For me joy has been and is a journey. I can't always feel joyful, and at times am overwhelmed with life's circumstances. Joy like love is a decision. And people that cross my path aren't always lovable. If I choose to focus on God and His love and His sacrifice on the cross for me for you, than love becomes something I can choose to do. It is the same with joy. If I choose to take the focus off of myself and choose God joy will come. Weeping comes for a night but joy comes in the morning. The journey to joy cannot be patented or written on a recipe card. It is Gods design and Gods timing in Gods way. And along the way I look at old pictures and I find my happy place ,and am thankful for friends in my life , friends on my journey to joy. Friends that reflect the joy of Christ.