My Thoughts

 So Rudy and I left Surrey Friday afternoon and headed out to Whistler for the weekend. We still had a gift certificate given to us from one of our suppliers from last Christmas so Fairmont Chateau was our destination. We left our beautiful fall weather and arrived to the first snowfall of the season.

I Love the first snowfall of the season . I love when God blankets the trees with a sprinkling of magic powder. It's just beautiful. It's probably safe to say that I was in the minority travelling to Whistler with a leg brace, crutches and wheelchair. Yes, I caused a constant stir of compassion from people who just couldn't pass me by without knowing my story. Complete strangers that needed to know what happened, and if I was going to be alright. It was very overwhelming at times. For someone who likes to hide their pain I have been forced to look it straight in the face and acknowledge yes life really does suck sometimes. Haven't I had enough years of tough things happening in my life?

 On Sunday morning we decided to visit Whistler Community Church. Since we are all part of the same conference I was excited to see what was happening in Whistler. Of course God had plans for my heart as He always does. The pastor was at home as he was resting from a concussion , he had just fallen out of a tree that week. The guest speaker was from Church of the Mountain. He started his sermon with God may not have a plan for your life. What? See we are all busy looking for Gods plan for our lives. And when we don't see it mapped out like a piece of Ikea furniture. Our life gets disrupted and we wander. If we do what it says in Matthew 22:34-40 Love God with ALL our strength, mind and will. And if we do that to our neighbour (love them with ALL our strength, mind and will). And here is the KEY that spoke to me and if we love ourselves with ALL our strength, mind and will . We will be inside of the will of God. It is very hard for me to love myself. I know I am a child of God, forgiven but I always feel unworthy of His love. On the outside I may seem confidant but on the inside I am very raw. On the outside I may look like everything is fine but on the inside it is not. So begins my journey. For I too want to live inside the will of God.